You've Got to Love Bitterness

It was a rough time last semester, with Arabic kicking my butt. But apparently when I said Failure was new to me, during a dark time, I forgot to say I meant academic failure (even though I thought that'd be clear) - and forget to mention every personal failure I've had which has let someone down. Lord knows I've had a few. Hence the anonymous comment posted below this morning.

"Failure NEW to you???? Hmmmmm. You disapointed/failed me majorly....but then again, you didn't know me very well either, did you?????"

Thanks Anonymous, for making my day brighter. Hopefully yours is as well. I hope an anonymous twist of the knife truly satisfies.

And for what it's worth - since I don't have the slightest clue who you are - I'm glad to see you've moved on so sucessfully. I have. I've learned lessons and become a better person because of them. Hope you can say the same.
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Part Deux - It Continues

Received shortly after I posted the above -

Mr. Fugelberg - I don't think it's bitterness that someone feels against you. Surely, you put your personal life out there online in this blog, or personal diary, for the entire world to read and certainly must not realize that you open yourself up to criticism. (What are blogs for? Agreeing with everything and everyone out there?)

Even though you travel afar on distant soil foreign from your own, you need to learn that not every one will like you/agree with you, or what you have to say. It's called LIVING IN REALITY. Just because you don't have the same opinions that say, your neighbor has/or doesn't have, it doesn't make you right/wrong, and it doesn't make your neighbor right/wrong, it just makes two different opinions in the world.

Right?

P.S. Maybe the person who wrote the anonymous blog you are referring to you did actually learn a lesson from you as well and they just have a different way of showing it. Question is, how bitter are you? Hence, why would you respond in the way you did? I detect a sense of bitterness in your response as well.

My response:

Anonymous -

I'm spelling your name correctly, although you don't have the courtesy to do the same with mine. And yet you know it. Interesting. Since you clearly know who I am, I hope citing my name gave you the moral authority you seem to think you need.

You seem to be patently confused about what I said regarding failure and how I responded. Of course I realize my life, through my blog, is more open than it would be if I did't post a thing. I'll admit, I don't get a lot of readers, so any comments I do get have a higher than average affect on me. As you've so ably pointed out, I'm right here, online, standing where you can see me. I wish you had the same respect.

Frankly, I'm confused by your lecture on "LIVING IN REALITY" as you so ably put it. I'm certainly aware, and respect, other people's opinions. I wouldn't be here in Cairo if I didn't. So in that way, your critique seems misplaced. But there's clearly a big difference between arguing about politics or whatever and making an anonymous personal attack which seems to be based on a past experience with me. That's bitterness, clear and simple, not a difference of opinion.

If the person who commented learned a lesson from me, despite my own apparent lack of character, I am gratified. But writing an anonymous, biting personal comment seems to indicate a lack of growth and be somewhat counterproductive. If that's what it takes for 'anonymous' to walk away from the past, so be it. I just wish they wouldn't step on my feelings on their way.

You ask if I am bitter, and you claim to detect a sense of bitterness. I'm not bitter, since I have no idea which past personal situation 'anonymous' is commenting on. But I certainly feel blind-sided from the attack. I've grown much in the past few years - I feel like I've come so far and learned so much. It hurts to have a blank face whisper poison on my blog.